


Not Sure if You're a Boy or a Girl

by Lunasbxtch_0



Series: Trans Harry Potter HC [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Harry Potter, Nonbinary Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:01:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29730120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunasbxtch_0/pseuds/Lunasbxtch_0
Summary: Harry and Sirius have a chat(Or, Harry just learnt that they're non binary and finally get the courage to come out to Sirius)I wrote this for @lesbianhannigram on tiktok based on one of xeir headcanons which I myself have now accepted as canon so I hope they like this xd
Relationships: Sirius Black & Harry Potter
Series: Trans Harry Potter HC [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2185053
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	Not Sure if You're a Boy or a Girl

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fan work on ao3 so I hope its alright, I'll also make more to this with other hc but right now I'm just focusing on this one. I also wanted to fact check and make sure this was realistic enough to its time, so I strayed away from more modern terms and stuck with just the basics of what I could find pre existed at the time this was set. I also discovered the term 'nonbinary' itself, was first coined in 1995 by some person who's name I promptly forgot, in a magazine so hopefully this is as accurate as possible.
> 
> (Title from David Bowie's, Rebel Rebel, thought it was fitting, and there will also be more to the title in another possible part/sequel focussing on Sirius' identity later on :) )

Harry looked up hesitantly to their godfather. They were supposed to be studying for their upcoming OWL exams that would be taking place that school year, but they couldn't focus. Ever since picking up one of the magazines they'd found in the bathroom (what, a persons gotta have some form of entertainment) and discovering the word ' _nonbinary_ ' they hadn't stopped thinking about it. They'd heard of genders other than boy and girl before, mainly from Ginny and Tonks yelling loudly about social constructs in the living room, which they did **_not_** want to get involved in for fear of being decapitated. But never before had they thought that maybe, just maybe, they fit into that. That was of course until they picked up that stupid magazine and just HAD to be educated. Sometimes they wished they could just stay blissfully ignorant forever you know? And that wasn't even just about their gender, just everything. They'd always felt wrong or strange in one way or another, but they supposed if they'd never known why that was they could've continued on and never even have to think about it. There was no going back now though. They knew. And that was fine, they guessed. I mean it sounded pretty miserable that life of not knowing and they _did_ feel a lot happier now knowing that there was a word for how they felt. Knowing that they were in fact not insane, just....different. Tonks and Ginny were right though, gender was a social construct and why did it have to exist in the first place, the world would be perfectly fine without it, other than perhaps bathroom companies who would sell considerably less bathrooms. They were brought back to reality by Sirius' tan hand waving in their face

"Helloooo, ground control to Major Harry, are you in there?" They blinked quickly and shook their head. They hadn't meant to zone out like that, but that'd been happening a lot recently, what with all that was happening in the world, even before their impending gender identity crisis. They gave a slight smile and nod to their godfather (the kind that Aunt Petunia would give to a passing neighbour while doing her gardening), to indicate that they were in fact, despite the fact their head was a constant warzone, quite alright. Sirius burrowed his brows and hummed in a ways to mean that he knew Harry was lying, but didn't want to pry. Harry took a deep breath in through their nose and sighed before surveying their surroundings once more. Sirius was sat there, directly across the dining table from Harry, perfect soft yet sharp features gazing over some magazine Mrs Weasley had picked up while out shopping. His dark ringlet curled hair falling delicately over his left shoulder and back, as he perched entirely incorrectly on a chair (which Harry had come to learn was usual for Sirius, that man never sat correctly for merlins sake). His legs were crossed over, spread out sideways on the table, and his left arm was rested on the back of the dining chair holding him up. Harry raised an eyebrow and chuckled lightly under their breath wondering how on earth Sirius sat like that so often, it looked extremely uncomfortable. Sirius must've heard, because he too raised a perfectly arched eyebrow and turned his grey almond eyes to look directly at Harry's, a smirk playing on his lips. Harry coughed and darted their eyes straight down to their work, not before glancing around the room first though. Of course, they were alone, but Harry was on edge and wanted to make sure that someone like Molly wasn't peering down the table at the pair of them, waiting to put in her two sense as she so often did (which angered both Harry and Sirius to no end, but Harry would never say such thing....Sirius was a different story). They also checked over the small kitchen and island counter to their left, a growl approaching their stomach at the idea of food. That could wait though, it was probably just nerves. Harry moved their eyes back down to their book, eyes whipping across the page eager for a distraction from Sirius watchful stare that was haunting them like a hawk. They gulped, it was now or never they thought. Before they knew it, the words that had been so anxiously perched on their tounge came falling out all at once 

"Siriushaveyoueverheardofthetermnonbinary?" They realised afterword that they'd spoken incredibly quickly, something they were known to do and Hermione so often criticized them for 

_"its really terrible Harry, not only is it impossible to make out the words correctly you just make no sense! I can't understand anything when talk so fast that no one can process it!" Harry thought she was over reacting a bit, but then again it was Hermione and she did that a lot. Ron disagreed though, saying he actually found it easier to understand when Harry talked quick (maybe not **that** quick, but still) Hermione simply huffed and mumbled something about boys and never listening when she expresses concern. They shrugged it off though, that was years ago now. _

They knew Sirius understood however, because his brow furrowed again and he licked his lips in thought. Their godfather gracefully moved his legs from the table (finally) and turned to face them, legs now crossed like they make you do in school but on his chair underneath him. He leant forward, looked up to the left in thought, then turned back to Harry and rested his hand under his chin, staring into Harry's eyes. This made them all the more nervous though, and they gulped again and started fidgiting with their hands under the table. They hated eye contact. It reminded them of Aunt Petunia or the Dursleys, and while Harry knew that's not what Sirius meant, it still made them uneasy. They moved their eyes downward, somewhat in shame, somewhat to avoid Sirius gaze. 

"Yes, I have. Briefly. I read about it somewhere, don't remember where" Sirius replied, a soft undertone of a laugh grazing the surface of his reasuring tone. He smiled lightly at Harry 

"Why?" 

Harry had no clue how to respond. They could easily answer 'no reason' and just carry on like it never happened, but they couldn't. Something was stopping them. Probably Sirius' once again perfectly arched eyebrow, how on earth did he do that?! They took another deep breath. This was it. Really this time. 

"I-" they faltered. Were they sure? What if they were just making it all up- no. No they were sure. Unless- NO. They were arguing with themself again. They did that a lot. It was like there were ten people in their head all disagreeing and hating each other. Anyway, they were sure. They knew. And even if they didn't, what harm was there in exploring? A lot. Probably. Or not. Who knows. 

"I um. I think I'm non binary. I-" another deep breath. You've got this, they coached themself.

"I don't feel like a boy. I mean I'm not a boy. I'm not. I'm not a girl either though. Somewhere in between maybe? I'm non binary." They'd done it. There it was. Sirius nodded lightly and looked down at the dark mahogany table. He licked his lips and looked up again. He nodded again and scrunched up his his face, thinking. He inhaled and looked at Harry, his godson- no, godchild, was that the term? That was the term. 

"Okay" They said finally, smiling at Harry. 

"What does that mean? What do you want to be called? Does that....change, anything?" 

Harry blinked back in amazement. They weren't expecting that answer. They didn't notice the huge smile spreading across their face, or Sirius' one growing. They just thought. They didn't know what to say. What did they want to be called? Their name was fine they supposed, they knew some people changed it but they were fine with theirs for the time being, besides, their parents picked it. That's what was important to them. Pronouns wise they really didn't know. They were so used to being called he, or a boy, they didn't realise there were other options. Tonks used they sometimes, and they thought that was pretty cool. It was gender neutral, it made sense, it was perfect to them. They swallowed for the umpteenth time and looked at Sirius, in the eyes. 

"They. Uh, they, them, theirs, that kind of stuff. My names fine too, I like it. And uh...I don't really like being called a boy or any of that, if that's alright" Sirius smiled again and blinked slowly at Harry (that was a cat thing wasn't it....and wasn't Sirius a dog? Oh well) 

"Thank you for telling me. I'm really proud of you. Your parents would be too, believe me." The relief flooded over Harry almost instantly. They hadn't realised how much weight that secret had put on their shoulders and it felt _amazing_ to have it lifted off. And they hadn't even thought of what their parents would think. Much at least, it had crossed their mind a _wee_ bit of course. Knowing Sirius was proud, and supported them, none the less that their _parents_ would've too, made everything so much easier. For the first time that summer that weren't worrying about everything happening outside, they were just _happy_. Sirius grinned, that Sirius Black grin, as Remus had called it, and nudged Harry's arm. 

"Tell me more about this non binary thing, it sounds interesting" Harry laughed airily and began to explain everything they knew, for hours. The two of them sat happily discussing all sorts of gender related things, different pronouns, and everything they could possibly think of. Harry hoped this feeling would last forever. This is what family feels like, Harry thought to them self, and they knew things would be alright.

They'd still have to tell Hermione, and Ron, and all the others. They thought maybe they'd ask Sirius to tell Remus because they seemed close enough, and maybe they could talk to Tonks about it, they'd probably understand. But that was a problem for another day. Right now all that mattered was that things were good, and no matter how much their own brain wanted to over think and think ahead to ruin that, they wouldn't let it. Things were going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> That's it! Please leave comments and feedback if you like, its always very much appreciated and I hope you liked this. Idea credit goes to Mantis (@lesbianhannigram) on tiktok, I just really wanted to write it as a fic.


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